This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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