i would punch a child for taco bell
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
