my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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