he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize