weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
