Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
