I'm so fucking centered right now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
