When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
