Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
