i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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