I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
