Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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