he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
