Non-Jews are for practice
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
