real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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