I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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