If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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