garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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