using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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