I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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