Say something about gay babies.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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