Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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