Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
