yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
