their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just pynch a tree in the face
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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