they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
