Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
