Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize