New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
