I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize