do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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