i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
