I wanna bring you to show and tell
even my farts smell like vagina
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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