There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
