Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
