I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
