They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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