so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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