Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
