That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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