Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize