You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
