There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
