Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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