we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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