I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i dont even know how to be here
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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