I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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