like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
