Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just pee around me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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