ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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