I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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