at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
