Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
