u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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