wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize
