If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Two words: blizzard sex
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
