you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
