So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
