i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
