Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
