Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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